Friday, March 12, 2010

The Lure of the UK




So here it is waaaaaay beyond my last entry and I've decided to summarize my UK trip and move on to blogging only about design and the creative.
My time in the UK was so pleasant and inspiring! I was there to allow my mother to travel to places she had enjoyed while living there in the 70's and visit a few friends who she'd not seen in years. It was by all accounts a success.
Friends were older and places had changed but the allure of our 70's temporary home was still there. We spent a couple days in Edinburgh, Scotland and a few days around Nottingham (where we used to live). We eventually made our way to Cambridge which for me offered a truly magical evening. I went out for a walk after my mother had turned in for the night, making my way downtown toward the colleges. Most stores were closed and a light sprinkling rain had ended. The balmy damp air felt so right... so England. I sat in front of a long row of the colleges, sipping on a cappuccino at about 9pm. The sky was clear and soft with the now set sun back lighting the outline of the buildings architecture. The color of the sky was the deepest indigo blue I've ever seen with a glowing outline of orange at the buildings edges. Below the intricate horizon were randomly lit windows emanating a soft creamy yellow light. I could not escape the thoughts of all the students, some incredibly famous but most not who had spent some of their most exciting years in those halls. Not for decades as would be the case in America, but for centuries. Hundreds of years of history, people, stories and events. Thank you Mom and thank you England!

47 comments:

Joshua said...

Viva Indiana!!! I live in the Indy area, and my gf and I rooted for you on Season 1 of DS. Hope all is well for you, and hope to one day hire you to design our house :)

Joshua said...

Viva Indiana!!! I live in the Indy area, and my gf and I rooted for you on Season 1 of DS. Hope all is well for you, and hope to one day hire you to design our house :)

The Other Dr. G said...

Tim - Speaking of the UK, I have some Conrad Mainwaring gossip for you!

brian harris said...

Hello Tym
I noticed a reference here to Conrad Mainwaring, who also goes by the alias Avondale Mainwaring. He has abused many boys and young men, some of whom are my friends. While eternal justice awaits him, justice now, in history, for the victims, would be a good thing. I would be grateful if you had information re him/his whereabouts. Most Sincerely - Brian

K said...

Brian Harris,

I remember him well. I've heard similar sordid stories about him. A close friend of mine was a victim.

Google search says he's now working at WESSCO International in Los Angeles.

K said...

BTW, I knew him from Syracuse University (1980s)

Unknown said...

Yes, he got me too in Syracuse, I just flashed on it today, he was a crafty SOB. I am surprised that it has not caught up with him yet. Serial sexual predator, but he was not violent, he really f'd my mind! I am cool now but I pray for those who were not as good at compartmentalizing as I was.

benhearns76 said...

Conrad Montgomery Avondale Mainwaring, during the time I and others knew him (and for several years' after), was (and may still be) a serial predator. In some cases, he did this in the name of God, courtesy of a very superficial and manipulative version of Christianity. He has done untold damage to scores of young men, some of whom I've spoken to you. For a brief season, he got his fangs into me. If anyone on this thread, or recently entering it, would like to communicate about this, I am here as a resource. I have also been in touch with this man, who admitted everything. Most importantly, his reprehensible actions, no matter how vile, do not need to be the final word over a man's life.

unknown said...

He coaches track in LA. He goes by Coach A or Coach Avondale. Assuming he follows the same schedule he did in the past few years, he coaches around 6am at the UCLA track on weekdays (he is not the UCLA coach). Sounds like he is still doing the same things he has always done.

Freeman inJC said...

I had the unfortunate distinction of being molested twice and, also, brainwashed (under the guise of a pseudo-Christianity) by Conrad Mainwaring (aka "Coach A" or Avondale Mainwaring) both at Colgate University and Caltech University in the late 1980's. In tracking him down and confronting him years later after being compelled to action by the testimony of a lawyer who was molested by him at age 12 (unspeakably horrific) at Camp Greylock, in Massachusetts, Conrad Mainwaring admitted to everything, and to molesting dozens of other boys/young men. One (Victor as his first name) tragically went on to become an addict and commit suicide in the early 80's after being molested by him, also at Camp Greylock. In my confronting him, Conrad claimed the abuse stopped several years ago (ca. 2003), and that he has been seeking healing and restoration since then, by God's grace. Of course, God alone knows. The victims know the incredible damage he wrought, in some cases using a twisted form of Christianity as his bait. If anyone reading this has been wounded by this man, feel free to share your story or contact me. In my speaking with Conrad Mainwaring a few years' ago now, it was not clear to me if his repentance was real, or just words. Talk is cheap, and faith without works is dead. I hope he has been seeking true forgiveness and restoration (though, to my knowledge, he has not reached out to most of his victims). I do hope he finds grace before it is too late, and that we as the victims would not be bound by the past, difficult as it was. There is a bright future for abuse survivors provided we can work through the after-effects (PTSD, shame, etc), and related fear and self-hatred that accompanies being abused, especially if done by someone we trusted or looked to as a mentor, religious teacher, what have you. One key for me has been to restore my image of God and myself, which had both suffered greatly through this man's actions. Peace - B

Stopconrad said...

I knew Conrad in the 70s from his days in the UK. I even went with him to Camp Greylock in the USA in the late 70s. I also made a full statement to the police in the UK nearly 20 years ago about what happened to me. Unfortunately, he had settled in the USA by then. The police in the UK did send me a letter, which I still have, stating that they were writing to the US authorities, informing them about this person so he could be kept an eye on. This kind of gave me some peace, and left me thinking "what else could I do?".

I was so disturbed to read this blog and learn of so many people who have been abused by him since I reported him to the police. So much for keeping an eye on him, and he is till coaching in LA. Unbelievable! How has he got away with it for so long? Has nobody reported him to the police in the USA?

There is a Facebook page 'stopconrad'. Anybody can contact me there or in complete privacy at stopconrad@outlook.com. We must stand together from both sides of the Atlantic to stop this man. The UK and the USA have stood together against many threats so let's show Conrad that we are united and get justice for Victor and ourselves.

With the letter I still have, if it can be proved that somewhere some authority had information about Conrad and did nothing then I would be only too happy to provide this evidence if it helps anyone.

Stop Conrad said...

Can anybody tell me more about Victor, who was abused by Conrad at Camp Greylock? What was his surname? I would really like to know his story. As someone who has survived Conrad's abuse and who is actively seeking justice in the UK, where there is no statute of limitations, I would like, somehow, to give Victor a voice. Conrad stole so much from us all and I am, personally, determined to take back what he stole so that he can have no more power over us.

What is Conrad doing now? How does he make a living? Abusers like him cannot stop. Help me to stop him. I can be contacted in private at stopconrad@outlook.com. Or leave comments on my blog:

http://stopconrad.blogspot.co.uk/2015/09/this-is-conrad-mainwaring.html?zx=dd85f498db00f737

David O'Boyle said...
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David Sweet said...

I'd be happy to help. He got me and my good friend at Camp Greylock in 1977. In 1990s shared with Massachysetts DA and FBI, nothing. He deserves to be convicted and further victims should be protected. Justice deserved.

Sparky said...

Any updates?

KDR said...

I came into contact with this man in Leicester during the mid-seventies. I have heard of several'victims' and have always wondered just have prolific he was amonst other sportsmen.

John said...

I met him in Leicester in the 70s when he was at De Montfort University. Never touched me but was very weird.

vernon sharples said...

My name is Vernon Sharples and I reported Conrad to the police for what he did to me in the mid 70s in Leicester but the CPS say there is not strong enough evidence to bring a prosecution but they will reconsider if fresh evidence comes to light. If anybody wants to get in touch with me, especially from Leicester, with any information, which might help to bring him to justice, please email me at vernonsharples@gmail.com. As far as I am aware, I am the only person in the UK to report him to the police. I believe he did some work with the Leicester City Youth team, so he may have got to some young players there too.

It appears that he is still actively coaching in the USA and, therefore, still poses a risk!

David O'Boyle said...

My sexual battery case against Mainwaring (Coach Av) was outside of the statute of limitations (7 years), so the city attorney could not prosecute those charges. I also pressed battery charges against him and I was just informed that those charges were dropped, so as of now, there isn’t much more I can do on my own to stop him.

If you were molested by Mainwaring (Coach Av) within the last 7 years in California (or at any time if you were a minor), my story and the story of the 12 other former victims I have spoken with are here to support you and your case against him should you decide you are ready to press charges.

I have spoken with lawyers and done some legal research into the California Penal Code and Case law from the California Supreme court.

I don’t specifically know your situation, but regarding Mainwaring’s typical method of molestation, here is some of what the law says to help you make your decision of whether or not to press charges. I found a lot more case law to support charges against him based on the other stories I’ve heard about him, but here are some of the key points in the below comment…

David O'Boyle said...

California Penal Code:

“243.4(c) Any person who touches an intimate part of another person for the purpose of sexual arousal, sexual gratification, or sexual abuse, and the victim is at the time unconscious of the nature of the act because the perpetrator fraudulently represented that the touching served a professional purpose, is guilty of sexual battery.  A violation of this subdivision is punishable by imprisonment in a county jail for not more than one year, and by a fine not exceeding two thousand dollars ($2,000);  or by imprisonment in the state prison for two, three, or four years, and by a fine not exceeding ten thousand dollars ($10,000).”

(f) As used in subdivisions (a), (b), (c), and (d), “touches” means physical contact with the skin of another person whether accomplished directly or through the clothing of the person committing the offense.

Regarding fraudulent representation, from the California Supreme Court there are two types related to sexual battery…

“In fraud in the factum, the defendant fraudulently induces the victim to consent to "act X" but then the defendant engages in "act Y."”

“By contrast, in fraud in the inducement, the defendant uses misrepresentations to induce the victim to consent to "act X" and then commits "act X."”

People v Smith 2010
“In other words, a victim who is unconscious that (s)he is being subjected to a sexual touching -- that is, a touching "for the specific purpose of sexual arousal, sexual gratification, or sexual abuse" -- because "the perpetrator fraudulently represented that the touching served a professional purpose," has not consented to that sexual touching, and that touching is against the will of the victim just as much as if the victim were incapable of consenting or if the perpetrator were to accomplish the touching by force.”

David O'Boyle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
endspiritualabuse said...

Additional information re the predatorial and evil actions of Conrad Mainwaring, who goes by "Coach Av" or "Avondale" can be found at www.endspiritualabuse.com

David Allinson said...

My name is David Allinson.

I graduated from New Rochelle High School (New York) in 1980.

While in high school, I was a track and football athlete.

I met Conrad Mainwaring through a high school friend of mine, Kenneth Handelman, sometime around the 1978/1979 high school years.

Conrad was a 1976 Montreal Olympian.

After being introduced to Conrad by Ken, Conrad asked to be my personal track coach. I was amazed and agreed. I soon became one of Conrad's "A Team" members. I wonder if this sounds familiar to anyone? As a young high school athlete, I was overwhelmed with the attention I received from an Olympian. Conrad told me that with his guidance and coaching I would be an Olympian as well.

During my high school junior summer, I attended Camp Greylock. Conrad got me a counselor-in-training position. I was thrilled to attend such a great sports camp with Conrad's endorsement.

Camp Greylock is where my nightmare began. Camp Greylock is culpable for my lifetime nightmare. I believe that Camp Greylock's management knew about Conrad's proclivity for sex with young boys and did nothing but ignore it.

While at Camp Greylock for eight weeks, I was mentally tormented and sexually raped most nights by Conrad. I wanted to die. Conrad told me that I must perform these sexual acts with him to become mentally strong. Conrad said that it was not sex. He said it was mental training to be strong, and if I continued, I would become Olympian such as him. This went on for the entire summer, and I was too afraid to tell anyone.

He used his Olympic status to control me as I am now learning that he did with many boys.

However, from what I have read, I know that all he wanted was sex.

It has taken me all this time (~39 years) to confront this issue and tell my psychotherapist. I have now shared this with my wife, Christine, and you readers.

I would like to find Conrad Mainwaring and bring him to justice. I believe he is worse than people such as Jerry Sandusky and his son.

If you read this and are a victim of this monster, please call me.

I will join you in the fight against such sexual predators. 925-482-5312 cell.

David Allinson

David Allinson said...

Hi

I was sexually abused by Conrad Mainwaring. I just talked with David O'Boyle. Please call me. I want to help stop this. I just posted a blog and emailed Camp Greylock where the whole thing started. I almost killed myself recently. My wife saved me. I just exposed this whole thing after 39 years. I need to talk to you. I live in California. My number is 925-482-5312. My email is allinson143@gmail.com.

endspiritualabuse said...
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endspiritualabuse said...

Dear David A - What happened to you was grievous and utterly evil. Please know that you are NOT alone in this, as dozens, likely hundreds of young men and boys have bean victimized by this incarnation of evil and highly deranged individual, Conrad Mainwaring. I have started a blog as well (www.endspiritualabuse.com) which tries to sound the alarm against this reprobate. I will try to call you today. And again, please know that you are NOT alone and will make it.

endspiritualabuse said...

https://www.slideshare.net/DocumentsforMila/waxman-on-state-of-maine-facebook-page-december-2011

Here is an attorney's brief account of being sexually molested/assaulted by this vile predator. It has encouraged many others to come forth with their story.

John S said...

After watching Paterno on HBO, I finally decided to google Conrad Avondale Mainwaring and came across this blog and a few others. Unfortunately, I know several of the victims that posted, and yes, I was abused for several years by this despicable predator. It started when I was a minor, only 14 years old at camp Greylock. I was in David A's bunk (see his post above). I've struggled with drugs and alcohol most of my adult life but am finally ready to come forward and put this disgusting predator in jail where he belongs. Starting the process and welcome anyone that wants to help

Angelo A said...

John,

Thank you for sharing. I too was abused by him for almost two years while at ucla. I am currently writing a memoir about my experience and would love to talk with you and anyone else about their experience.

Thanks

Angelo A said...

David,

Thanks for sharing. I was abused by him between 2011-2013. Everything was under the guise of mental training that would take me to the next level. He convinced me that I was special, had higher testosterone levels than the other men on the team, and that with his training I could be an Olympian like Felix. Of course, I acknowledge the role I played in the abuse and that I was not strong enough to realize what was happening. Still, i know that these people are his targets - those of us that for whatever reason struggle with low self esteem or are in a time in life when they are looking for a mentor.

I don’t know what the next steps are for me, but I’m currently writing about my experience and would like to share mine with other victims and hear others’ stories as well. I still feel guilt for wanting to bring him to justice.

Thank you again

David O said...

Hi Angelo, thanks for posting... I'd like to talk to you about your experience and share mine if you'd like. Please email me and we can figure out a good time: deevo1@aol.com

vernon sharples said...

Hi Angelo,

Everything Conrad did to us is on him, not us. The responsibility, the shame and the guilt is all his.

I don’t know if what happened to you is within the statute of limitations?

What you choose to do about it is your decision, and your decision alone but there is a growing community of people abused by Conrad, and you would have all of our support if you decided to report what happened to you to the police.

I was abused by Conrad in the UK in the mid 1970s, so I’ve had a long time to process everything. There is light at the end of the tunnel! We were all used and abused by Conrad. He not only stole our bodies but he stole our minds, too.

You are very welcome to contact me at vernonsharples@gmail.com as anybody else is, too. We can share phone numbers offline, if you’d like to talk. I’ve spoken to a number of people who were abused by Conrad. It has helped me on my own journey of recovery.

Sending you my best wishes,

Vernon

Dan said...

I just read the story about the Ohio State wrestlers and then it dawned on me that I was a #metoo. Conrad Mainwaring at Syracuse University around 1984. Very similar stories to everyone here. Luckily I was able to put the experience in perspective and not be scarred by it but I'm very sympathetic to everyone here and very saddened to learn that he's still doing the same things!

vernon sharples said...

Hi Dan,

I guess we are all very different in how we experience and process things but it’s good that you were able to put the experience with Conrad in perspective.

I wondered if you would be able to contact me on vernonsharples@gmail.com because I’d like update you on some important developments regarding Conrad, which you might be interested in. There are quite a few of us, who are in contact with each other now.

Best Wishes

Vernon

Sparky said...

Dan please text me (315)415-4890

Anonymous G said...

Conrad coached me in my teens. I'm not willing to share my own story, but am wondering if he has been arrested or not. I read somewhere else that some victims managed to get him kicked off the UCLA track... For purposes of my own closure, I would like to speak with him at some point...

vernon sharples said...

Hi G,

Why don’t you email me, and perhaps we can FaceTime or Skype. I’m in the UK and my email is vernonsharples@gmail.com.

I’m sure I have a lot of information that you would be interested in. Nobody that I know, who has also been a victim of Conrad will ever put you under pressure to say anything that you don’t want to. However, it’s comforting to be in touch with others, so that you know you are not the only one to have been duped by this wretched and pathetic man, who has done so much damage to so many lives.

There are certainly a lot of thing happening and I’m feeling more and more confident that we will have the last word and our story will be told and heard.

It would be really good to hear from you.

Best Wishes

Vernon

Sparky said...

Text me at (315) 415-4890

Scott May said...

Thank you all for this. I had managed to put him behind me and had not thought about for years until the recent political events. So I did a search on “Conrad Mainwearing” just out of curiosity. I thought I was the only one! OMG. Sad, but good to see this. I was affiliated with Syracuse University Track and Field and Cross Country when he got me in 1982. Thanks again to you all for contributing to this thread.

Sparky said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sparky said...

Text me (315) 415-4890

vernon sharples said...

Hi Scott,

I think we’ve all thought at some point in our lives, we could put him behind us but somehow, his name and what he did to us keeps on coming back.

I had exactly the same OMG moment when I first came across this blog over 3 years ago. I used the stopconrad tag but now go by my real name because, I thought “what have I got to be ashamed about?”.

For most of us, this happened a long time ago but I know for a fact that he was still abusing young boys 3 years ago and grooming future victims. He doesn’t only groom his victims but their families too.

I would really appreciate it if you could email me at vernonsharples@gmail.com. There is information I’d like to share with you but not online.

This goes for anyone else reading this blog, who has personal experience of Conrad, or Coach Avondale as he likes to be known.

Best Wishes

Vernon

Sparky said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sparky said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
K said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sparky said...

Yes. Text me (315) 415-4890

shubie said...

My name is Andrew Shubin and I am an attorney who represents child sexual abuse victims. I worked with a number of victims of the Penn State / Sandusky abuse.

I’v been monitoring the blog on behalf of a few potential clients who Avondale abused in different decades — the most recent of which occurred between 7-10 years ago. I am reaching out in hopes of acquiring background on his affiliations throughout the years. For example, I have a potential client from the early 80’s who was abused while at Syracuse University. Another who was abused while Avondale was in LA and using UCLA’s facilities. I am particularly interested in information related to who he worked for or with over the past 10-15 years and his relationship with UCLA.

Thanks — I am grateful for any assistance you can provide.

Andrew Shubin
Andrew Shubin Attorney at Law, Inc.
333 South Allen Street
State College, PA 16801

(814) 867 3115
Fax: (814) 867-8811

shubin@shubinlaw.com
www.shubinlaw.com